At Last
by danasaur
Summary: Daine and Numair have been seeing each other for months, but Daine is frustrated by the pace Numair has taken with their relationship. Lemon.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any of these characters. Daine, Numair, their friends and their setting are all the brain child of Tamora Pierce. I thank her for letting me give them a different, more adult voice.**

He had been driving her crazy for months now. Daine had agreed to take things slow, sure, but she hadn't thought "slow" meant that while he awakened her body to all the new sensations he could elicit from her, she couldn't touch him at all. He wanted her. She could see that for herself when they lay in bed together, or when he ran his hands over her body. After pleasuring her, he always spent some time alone in the washroom, and she didn't need firsthand experience to know what the quiet sounds from behind the closed door meant. But whenever she tried to push his loincloth down, or even just run her hands over the bulge in the breeches, he caught her hand and moved it away. Or distracted her with his own ministrations. And though she didn't mind being the centre of attention, and certainly enjoyed the feel of his hands and his mouth running over her, she wanted more.

Daine wanted to explore his body, too. She wanted to hear him moan and cry out, and know that she was the reason. She wanted him to make love to her, to satisfy the deep ache in her body that was now left behind every time he took her over the edge. She wanted all of him, and she knew that she would have to be the one to do it. For whatever reason, he was scared to move any further with her, and she had to show him that it was alright.

Numair was in agony. He had wanted Daine for so long, and she was so close now. He could touch her, he could make her cry out. He could kiss her, dance with her, sleep next to her... It was the stuff his dreams had been made out of. But he couldn't bring himself to take that final step, and every time he stopped himself, his self control weakened even more. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out, but he knew that he must. She was so young, so vulnerable, and he was so afraid that he was manipulating her, forcing her into a life that she didn't truly understand and wasn't old enough to commit to.

He woke up every day from dreams of her, rock hard and panting before he had even made it out of bed. When she slept next to him, the pressure was almost too much to bear, and he had taken to slipping out of bed and into the bath before she was awake in an attempt not to disturb her. He found his mind drifting back to her throughout the day, to the way her face looked when she came, the sound of his name on her lips, the sculpted beauty of her battle-hardened muscles. He tried to focus on his work, but he couldn't escape her. She was everywhere, and he was in trouble.

She came to his rooms that night after dinner, slipping in and closing the door behind her. He wasn't expecting her, and for a moment she was afraid his rooms were empty, but she heard a clanging coming from his workshop and peeked inside. He was testing something with his magic, battering it over and over again with blasts of black and silver. As she watched, he engulfed the whatever-it-was in flames, pouring magic into them to make them burn until they turned white with the heat. Suddenly, as though satisfied, he clapped his hands and the flames disappeared. He walked towards the centre of his room, towards whatever he was working on, and reached out to grab it. Daine cried out, afraid, perhaps irrationally, that he would burn himself on something that had moments ago been on fire. He turned at the sound, black and silver magic glittering around his hands, ready to protect himself or fight.

One look at Numair was all it took to knock the wind right out of Daine. Power rippled around him, and sweat created a light sheen on his lovely, dark skin. His long hair was out of its holder and tumbled around his shoulders, curling slightly from the damp heat. His chest was bare under his black robe and his breeches clung to his body, showing off his tight muscles. He was gorgeous: dangerous, strong and handsome, alight with the joy his magic brought him. She had never seen anything so delicious in all her life.

He took three long strides and swept Daine into his arms, pressing her close to him and kissing her long and hard. She moaned his name and wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing herself even closer to him and lacing her fingers through his hair as she attacked his mouth. She was desperate to feel his hands on her, dying to know what it would be like to be touched by this wild man who barely resembled the mage she knew.

He read her mind. Still locked in that kiss, he stumbled backwards into his bedroom, kicking the door to his workroom closed before collapsing onto his bed with Daine on top of him. She pulled at his robe, whisking it off as he shifted to help and raking her nails down his chest. He snarled, flipping them so that he was on top, stripping her down with little care for her clothes. It took mere seconds for him to lay her out naked before him, but it had seemed like an eternity and he snarled as he made his way down her body, licking and massaging as he went. He raked his teeth over her hip and across her thigh, coming to rest between her legs. He slid his hands under her, lifting her off the bed so he could access all of her. As he pressed his tongue deep into her folds he groaned, feeling her wet heat and knowing how desperately she wanted him.

His movements, usually so delicate and deliberate, were frenzied. Hands groped at her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers hard enough to pinch while his mouth pulled and suckled at her core. The sensations washed over her, stronger than she had ever known them to be, and she allowed herself to be completely pulled under by his desire. She had come tonight with a plan, but all thoughts had been wiped from her mind under his erratic movements. When he spoke, waves of heat washed over her, and his words sent shivers down his spine. "Come for me, Daine. I want to feel what I do to you. I want you to say my name as you come."

This was a different side of the man she loved; he made her feel sexy and powerful, knowing that she had finally snapped his control. She had always known that he was strong, but she was just now learning exactly how strong he really was. He had pinned her to the bed, and she couldn't move... Not that she wanted to. She had always loved what he did to her, but tonight was different. The speed and intensity of his movements made her see stars, and his roughness was an amazing contrast to his soft skin and warm tongue.

She groaned loudly, feeling her orgasm approach. The sound spurred Numair on, and he sped up the pace, pushing her towards her end faster and harder than he ever had before. She bit her lower lip as she sucked in air, trying to hold back, to let the pleasure go on and on, but suddenly it was too much. She called out his name as she sailed over the edge, grabbing his hands as she bucked her hips and spasmed wildly. Still his ministrations went on, and instead of relaxing, her body jacked off the bed as she came again, even harder than before.

He loved the taste of her as she orgasmed. Almost spicy, it was uniquely hers, and he took pride in the fact that he was the only one who had ever made her feel that way, the only one who knew that taste, knew the sound and the smell and the feel of her ecstasy. He wanted to go on between her legs forever, but she was gasping for air and he knew that she needed to calm down before he could wind her up again. He slid up her body, eyes raking over every inch of her body. When he looked into her eyes, though, he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. Wildness instantly forgotten, he looked her over again and saw the red marks he had left on her sides, and blushed with shame when he realized how roughly he had treated her. It had been too much, and now the woman who trusted him with her life was crying. He pulled her close, needing her to forgive him, to understand that it had been a lapse in judgement, that it would never happen again, and as he opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, he felt her hands running up and down his sides, her nails teasing him mercilessly as they whispered over his skin.

Daine's hands moved lower, tickling his thighs and running over his butt. As she squeezed he groaned, and the smile that spread over her face from that sound was radiant. She brought her hands around to the front of his breeches and ran a finger up and down the hard length underneath. Numair squirmed under her touch and arched his back up, pushing closer to her, asking for more. She moved to remove his breeches and loincloth, to touch him completely for the first time, but as her hands began to tug the fabric down he leapt away, tumbling off the bed and throwing himself into the chair that sat opposite.

Daine was devastated. Had she done something wrong? Had she hurt him? He had bolted away from her, and he was sitting apart, staring at her intently as though he was angry with her. The tears that had come from her intense release turned to tears of sadness, and she pulled her knees to her chest and rolled to her side, rocking gently as she sobbed. She couldn't even truly say what was making her so sad, but she felt as though she had lost something dear to her, as though her heart was breaking. She felt alone. Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around her and a bare chest pressed against her back. Strong hands found hers and laced around her fingers, cradling her tightly, protectively. Numair's voice whispered into her hair, calming her, reassuring her... Apologizing to her? She shook her head to clear it and listened more closely to what her mage was saying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 1- I appreciate the encouragement! And thank you as always to the creative genius of Tamora Pierce, who created these characters and is kind enough to allow rookies like me to play with them.**

"I am... so sorry Magelet. I never, never should have taken advantage of you like that. Too rough... Out of control. Combination of magic and you and stress and... Never happen again. Love you so much. Never want to scare you or hurt you. Never meant to make you cry..."

She dried her tears quickly and took a couple of deep breaths. She needed to be calm to talk this through, because she understood, suddenly, that whatever she said here was going to define their future. She had to be clear, and she had to make him understand. She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, and then turned in his arms, wanting to look him in the eyes.

"Numair... Are you apologizing for the foreplay we just had, or for the sex we didn't have?" He was thrown off-guard, too stunned to answer her, so she pressed on. "I know how it must have looked. You finally lose some of that control you've been practicing all winter, and I start to cry. But it wasn't because you hurt me, or because I was sad or scared or any of that. I cried because I was overwhelmed. In a _good _way. I was relieved that you were giving in. But then... But then I try to act on that, to give in with you, and you just... you just... race away from me and look at me with this... disgusted look on your face and..." It was too much. Daine started to cry again. "I don't know what I did to change your mind. Six months ago you asked me to marry you, and now you won't even let me touch you. I know you want me, or at least, your body wants me, and if your heart isn't in it anymore then..." She stopped, her breath hitching in her throat. She had been running away from this for a long time, unsure that she wanted to know the answer, but she had to ask. "You don't have to pretend. Just say the words and..."

He caught her chin with his long fingers and brought her head up, forcing her to look into his eyes. When he was sure he had her full attention, he gently kissed her forehead, eyelids, nose and lips, lingering over her mouth for a few moments. When he broke the kiss, he pulled her into his arms and held her close, needing to reassure her, and to be reassured himself, that all was well. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back gently, willing her to calm down and relax against him. As her breathing returned to normal and her tears dried, he pulled away from her and cleared his throat.

"Is that really what you're afraid of? That I don't want to be with you anymore? Magelet, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say." When she opened her mouth to protest, to explain what she meant, he stopped her with a finger to her lips. "No, let me finish. The way you're feeling now? It's my fault, and I'm sorry. I should have talked to you months ago about the concerns I had but... I didn't know how to bring it up, and now I've made a mess of it. I asked you to marry me six months ago in the heat of the moment. We had both nearly died, I was exhausted and terrified, and when I saw you I wanted to hold on to you forever. I knew then, just as I know now, that you are the only woman I want, the only one I have ever loved. But I didn't stop to think about what my proposal, and our marriage, would mean for you. The age difference doesn't matter to me, or to you, and that's wonderful. But what does matter to me is your lack of experience. If I make love to you, Daine, and believe me, I've been desperate for longer than you realize, I won't have the control to let you go. I won't be able to step away and let you explore other relationships, other men, before you make your choice. I would be your first, your last, and your only lover. And I know that's alright with you now, but what happens twenty years from now, when you grow bored with me and start to wonder what it's like to have another man in your bed? So I decided that, if my options were between being the first man or the last man to be with you, I would much, much rather be the last. And because of that, I'm afraid to let you touch me. Afraid that if we start down that path, I won't be able to stop."

Numair had caught her by surprise. She had been prepared to argue again about the age difference between them, or maybe a puritanical notion of sex prior to marriage. But this concern was new, and she wasn't sure how to reassure him. Worried and confused, she spoke her mind, and hoped that he would understand.

"I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. If you truly are concerned that I'm going to change my mind or 'get bored' later on in life, and you think that it's important that I sleep with other people, then we're stuck. Because I don't want to go find some awkward, virginal boy to canoodle with to make you feel better. I'm not prepared to have sex for the first time with someone I don't love so you can sleep easier at night. And I know that's not what you meant, but that's the choice you're leaving me with. You forget, Master Salmalin, that I've been courted and kissed by other men. That I know the difference between kissing a boy who's nice to look at and kissing the man you love. And no, I didn't get into bed with any of them, because I was waiting for someone who 'makes my blood boil', as Alanna says.

You make my blood boil. The first time you kissed me, I thought my legs would never work again. And every time you kiss me is like the first time. You make my knees weak and my head spin, and I don't see that changing any time soon. Or ever."

She smiled impishly. "But if you're still worried, look at Jon and Thayet. He has experience with other women, she's only ever been with him. They seem to make it work. Granted, the king _is _gorgeous, and I can't imagine _any _woman getting tired of waking up to him every day, but I think you get my point."

Numair just sat there, looking at her. He was a brilliant man, and he wasn't used to feeling like an idiot. He was not enjoying it. He thought about what she had said, letting the words sink in.

"It never occurred to me that..." He tried again. "I didn't realize..." Mithros, Minos and Shakith this was hard! "I've never been anyone's first, love. I forgot how important it would be for you to be with someone you love and trust... I forgot I couldn't just let you go and assume you would... That it would all work out the way I imagined it would. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I just want you to be happy. I love you, and I should have talked this over with you ages ago. I'm not usually this..."

"Dumb?" Daine asked wickedly.

"I was going to go with 'naive', but dumb is probably a better word. Forgive me?"

"I suppose that depends," Daine replied.

"On what?"

"On whether you're going to smarten up from here on out. On whether I can finally do this..." She grinned as her hand slipped slowly up his thigh, "without you catapulting out of bed every time I try."


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thank you to all reviewers and supporters, and to Tamora Pierce for writing such great characters. I'm sorry this chapter is so short- I really struggled with this one. More to come soon, I promise. Also, if anyone is interested in beta reading for me, please send me a review and let me know.**

He caught her hand before it moved any further, silencing her snarl when he brought it to his lips. He pulled her close and kissed her thoroughly, tangling his hands in her long, curly hair as he did.

"I promise that we can do anything you're comfortable with from now on. And I promise to talk things through with you instead of jumping to my own conclusions and making life harder for both of us. But in exchange, I want something from you."

He paused, and she raised a single eyebrow while she waited for his conditions. "First, I want to request that it not be tonight. Not because I don't want to, and not because I have any more qualms about making love to you, but because I want our first time together to be an incredible, unforgettable night. I don't want to look back and think that mere moments before we were finally together, you were crying and I was the cause. Please, my love... Not tonight."

"What does 'qualms' mean?"

"Does that mean you agree?"

"Maybe. What does 'qualms' mean?"

"It means concerns."

"Why didn't you just say 'concerns' then?"

"Magelet..."

"I agree." She understood him. She had always understood, and loved, his silly romantic notions and his grand gestures.

He reached over to draw her close just as she yawned, and he suddenly noticed how tired she looked.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"Just tired is all. Didn't sleep yesterday, 'cause I was so nervous about barging in here tonight, and then the crying and..." She trailed off. "Just tired."

Numair reached down and grabbed a shirt off the floor. He handed it to her and watched as she buttoned it up and slipped out of bed. As she brushed her teeth and washed her face, Numair took a few deep breaths and began sorting through the events of the evening. He was a genius, and as such, was neither used to nor enjoyed the feeling of being an idiot, but it had occurred to him that if he was going to spend his life with Daine, it might be something he would have to get used to. He had never really bought into that "love makes you blind" nonsense, but he was beginning to realize that Daine was definitely his blind spot. How could he not have realized that she was taking his caution as rejection? And when had he talked himself into thinking she wasn't really ready to make a lifetime commitment to him? She was young, yes, but he also knew first hand how determined she could be once she made up her mind about something. Not to mention everything she had given up to return to him...

She climbed back into bed and looked up into his eyes. "Whatchya thinking?" she asked.

"Just that I am a very lucky man," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "I love you, Daine."

"I love you too. And I always will."

Numair smiled as he tucked Daine's head into the curve of his shoulder, smoothing his hand over her hair while she drifted off to sleep. He was a lucky man, indeed, and if his darling Magelet was ready to give herself to him, mind, soul, and body, then it was time he stopped questioning what was best for her and instead start focusing on making their life together incredible.


End file.
